Seeing Others and Being Seen
There are many types of being seen. When you’re a teenage girl waiting to be asked to a dance. Waiting to hear back from a job application with an invitation for an interview. Hoping for new friendships in a new community. Praying that your art or music will be...
Does God Really Want You to Have What You Want?
Last week I told you why the phrase “bad theology hurts people” has had such an impact on my life. This week, I want to examine one practical area where getting your theology right makes a huge difference. It’s this question: does God really want you to have what you...
Why Therapists Need a Close Relationship with Jesus
Why do Christian therapists need a close relationship with Jesus? It might seem kind of obvious, but it’s not enough simply to understand the principles of Christianity or its culture. Having a lot of scripture memorized is not enough. Attending a church is not...
Holding Conflicting Emotions
“How can you smile at a time like this?” It is a sentiment from the thoughts of a fictional character in the novel I’m listening to on a 26 hour road trip. The character has just experienced an unthinkable tragedy and yet, some conflicting emotions peek through....
Two Big Lies: I’m Not Enough
The “I’m not enough” lie is tricky because technically, it’s true. At least if you’re a Christian and not a secular humanist. The truth is, none of us are enough, and that’s why God sent His Son on our behalf, to be more than enough for us. While it’s theologically...
Two Big Lies: I’m Too Much
Using CBT, you will see how to dismantle the common lie we believe, that “I’m too much.”
How to Help a Friend with Depression
It seems like depression affects everyone I know at some point in his or her life, although the lifetime rate of depression is just around 15% (https://www.verywellmind.com/depression-statistics-everyone-should-know-4159056). As a therapist, I’m around a lot more...
Is Therapy a Relationship or a Service?
“If I didn’t like my therapist, I would totally ghost her,” admitted my friend on a Marco Polo video chat after she read my article last week on how to fire your therapist. My friend was thoughtful enough to read my blog (twice) and then give me her honest feedback. I...
How to Fire Your Therapist
Have you ever needed to fire someone? It’s not a great feeling, even if you’re unhappy with the person’s performance. It is why I think so many of us do the “letting go” poorly. I want to take a few moments to share how to fire your therapist well. It starts earlier...
How to Know if a Therapist is a “Fit” for You
When someone reaches out for therapy services, I typically respond with a message asking if we can chat on the phone. I want to make sure that we are a good fit. It wasn’t until many months into working with one client that she revealed how nervous this made her. She...
Five Ways to Find a Therapist (When Your Doctor or Pastor Can’t Help)
At 22 years old, newly married and in the deepest depression of my life, I had no idea how to find help. And even if I knew how, I had no motivation or energy or bravery to do it myself. I relied on a mentor to help locate a therapist for me. Her name was Nancy and...
Six Ways to Deal with Church Hurt
This year has been ____. I feel like you should fill in the blank there. I’ve heard lots of conversations about how this year has been hard for certain populations. So let’s just acknowledge that 2020 has been strange and difficult and heartbreaking for:...
How We Can Serve with Our Therapy
My Facebook feed is full of offers of programs, courses, and coaches promising to make my practice profitable. We definitely need these things, right? We are Christ-followers that live lives of abundance. It is actually from our sense of abundance that we can serve...
How Therapists Can Serve the Kingdom (without giving free therapy)
No matter what career you’re in, you may have started to develop your identity around your role. I have friends who are attorneys, teachers, and stay-at-home moms, all who incorporate their career as part of their core identity. When you have a career as a therapist...
Why You’re Not Integrating Your Faith in Therapy
Therapists often get lots of requests for therapy clients that we can’t actually take, which is why we are ethically expected to develop a network of other therapists to whom we can refer clients. It may be scheduling, payment, or expertise issues that cause us to...
Mission: Integrate Faith and Therapy
I’ve heard that in the Bible Belt, it can be nearly impossible to find a therapist who does not have some kind of faith influence on his or her practice, but here in California, I usually hear the opposite. It’s difficult to find a therapist who is going to line up...
Establishing a Daily Routine to Maximize Mental and Spiritual Health (Part 6: Example Schedule & Routine)
When my sister moved here from Hawaii in 2012, I had a toddler and another baby on the way. My little girl had never been a good sleeper, and being a new mom living in a new community, I didn’t worry too much about a nap schedule, since she seemed to be easier to...
Establishing a Daily Routine to Maximize Mental and Spiritual Health (Part 5: Spirituality)
I’m saving the best for last, as they say, and I want to show you why. Most people visiting my website and seeing how “Christian” it is would expect this to be the first thing I talk about, and, after all, the word “spiritual” is in the title of this blog series. So...