When my sister moved here from Hawaii in 2012, I had a toddler and another baby on the way. My little girl had never been a good sleeper, and being a new mom living in a new community, I didn’t worry too much about a nap schedule, since she seemed to be easier to handle when we were on the go, running errands and making new friends. My sister had the opposite approach with her daughter, who was six months younger than mine. My niece’s schedule was tight and disciplined: if we were having an outing in the morning, everything ground to a halt at 12:45 to make sure my niece was napping by 1:00. My sister’s influence caused my own children to shift more towards routine, and as life got fuller and busier, my personal routine became more refined. It started with that simple act of trying to get my kids to sleep every afternoon at the same time (which often took a lot of praying and wrestling).
One of the difficult transitions of parenthood is the shift from being the master of your own time to becoming the slave to small people with heavy scheduling demands. I’m not even talking about soccer practice and piano lessons–it starts long before that with feedings and sleeping schedules. We used to go out for donuts in the middle of the night when I was in grad school, but when kids came along, we became housebound after 7:00pm. Now while a lot of the time this feels like a total drag, it’s also an enormous gift. Child schedules push us into the world of adulting, and adulting functions best with schedule and routine.
I’ll show you a few of the ways that creating a schedule and routine around the busy professional life balanced with parenting has saved my sanity. Over the past six weeks, I’ve shared with you the foundational elements of mental and spiritual health. Here’s how I actually do it in my own schedule on an average weekday during the pandemic.
6:00am: Wake up, check email and other notifications on my phone, change into workout clothes.
6:30-7:00am: Exercise (a walk if my husband is working from home and can stay with the kids, a video workout if I’m the only adult at home)
7:00-7:45am: Get breakfast for the kids, hop in the shower, get dressed.
8:00-12:00pm: Virtual learning aka “the circus” (during this time I might complete some paperwork or prep dinner and do chores if the kids don’t need 100% attention)
12:00-1:00pm: Make lunch for the kids, transport them to grandma’s house and get back in time for therapy clients.
1:00-4:00/5:00pm: Online counseling sessions with my clients.
5:00-6:00pm: Make a *healthy* dinner for my family.
6:00-7:00pm: Eat dinner with my family, family devotions (sometimes), family chores or a walk, swimming, or game.
7:00-8:00pm: Get kids into the shower, bedtime routines, wrap up the kids’ day.
8:00-9:00pm: Wind down time, reading the Bible and praying or journaling, other reading, connecting with friends, or social media.
9:00-10:00pm: Connect with my husband, talking and watching a show
10:00pm: get ready for bed and hope to sleep for eight hours
Some days this schedule feels really boring, but on the times that we try to change it up too much, a few things happen:
- I miss a workout
- I don’t eat as healthily
- My kids get cranky
- My marriage gets off track
- I don’t get enough sleep
- I don’t spend time connecting with God
I also want to point out that this is my pandemic schedule, but the mechanics of it would be the same if my kids were going to school and I were going to the office. I would still need to get up early to work out, or it wouldn’t happen once the day gets started. I would still put my kids to bed at the same time so I can get my quiet time in. The difference would be that I would have to account for commute times and I might work a little more if I didn’t have homeschooling responsibilities.
Something that you don’t see in my schedule above is time for social connection with friends, family, and church members. I didn’t give you a weekend example, because it varies a lot more, but I can tell you some of the elements: having friends over for dinner, a weekly prayer and catch-up call with my college friends, time to chat after church, and catching up on household and yard chores. I also attempt to make time for face-to-face gatherings or phone calls during the week. It might be having a girlfriend over to chat in the jacuzzi after the kids go to bed, or it might be a coffee date with a colleague during an afternoon that isn’t heavily scheduled with clients. I check in daily with friends via text or social media.
What I’d like to improve in my schedule:
- Establish better routines for daily chores
- Make sure I leave enough time (and energy) for an evening walk
- Spend less time in mindless scrolling when there is a gap
If you already know what needs to be included in your schedule, but you’re having a hard time sticking to it or preventing distractions, I highly recommend writing it down and using timers and reminders to keep you on track until it becomes habitual. Play around with what works for you: a whiteboard, a paper planner, a productivity app, or something else. For those of you that need some sassy pep talking, an app called Carrot can keep you on track with sarcastic remarks and virtual butt-kicking. Those of you that need something more gentle might go with a standard reminder app in your phone or an old-fashioned post-it note.
By no means would I say this is the ideal schedule for everyone, but it is what is working for me during this period of my life with today’s demands. How does your schedule and routine differ from mine? What are some areas that you would like to improve, and what areas are working well for you? I’d love to hear about it in the comments!
Recent Comments